What I Believe

Is that men ruin my life. Bloody deranged savages.

I am not attacking all men. Just men that have been in my life. And not all of them. Most. And this is not a form of social transgression.

One sordid lie after another, and I am no saint but the lies that he has told me is more than enough to negate all the lies I've ever told, all 24 years of my life. And what is the most rudimentary thing that any relationship is based on? Trust.

So, no. He doesn't get to tell me I'm a liar. And he doesn't get to belittle me like I'm some smudge in his life. Doesn't he have just a tiny bit of him that feels any compunction at all to at least save the bantering for himself?

I'm In A Happy Mood These Days

Another uplifting song. This one makes me want to just literally kick up my heels, pull up my skirt, grab a party friend, and bounce around until I pass out.

It's very ironic. I'm kind of caught in a bad situation but I'm happier this week than I've been in the past few months. It's absolutely astounding, utterly stellar, this mood that I am in.


West Indian Girl - Sofia

Cheer Me Up

I don't know. I find this song very uplifting. Something about the building anticipation and waiting for the rush to hit you. And when it finally does, the floodgates open and it pours and completely washes over you and you feel this empowerment, like you can do anything and you do it today, do it now, take that chance.


Freezepop - Swimming Pool

It's Time

Finally.

Today, I enjoyed the salubrious effects of Belle Fleur hand made chocolate. It was average RM12 a pop. But every bit worth the money.

I am a happy person.

: )

This Internet And Its Fiasco

It's not like it's a revelation or something to me. But I do other things on the Internet too. I am not entirely useless, you know. With all the entertainment value that the Internet has been tied to, it does have other purpose for existence. Where did you think I heard about Tiger Woods getting beat up by his wife? Or the fact that I am and have been a (I can't even type this out, let alone say it out loud) person who "journalize on the Internet for public or selective viewing".

Some people I know, friends, make quite a bit of money on the net, while I'd be lucky if my Nuffnang earnings even make it to a four-digit figure. Decimal points included. Some of them write very well but they write for themselves. One I know writes terrific fan fictions. One day, while I could still be alive, she might get published. Who knows?

Most of my favorite music people are on Myspace. And it is all intricately done. Tour dates, blog subscriptions, events, video clips, playlists, networks, fan and friend comments, user feedbacks, music purchase, record signing possibilities. I am thoroughly impressed with all of this. Rummage through the abundant genres, the thousands of bands, solos, duets, the millions of songs, tunes, rhythms, whatever soothes the effects of the KL rat race on you.

Paparazzi Google and Wiki every available information, link, hint to get to people. My boss made me search Iproperty and filter through the hundreds of property developers. In my free time, I check out TopatoCo, CafePress and Zazzle my way into shirts, henleys, blazers and hoodies. And to complete the whole experience, I write about it as part of the mundane life I'm leading, which I am currently working on making untrue, so I include a bonus audio accompaniment. And that would require some Ares searching and Fileden hosting.

And to see if I've slaved myself for the past one month for something of some sort of remote value, Maybank2u tells me I only have a few hundreds left to spend this month. And I don't even dare to imagine the bills I have taken up since my increment. It's not that I am a petulant child and sound a complaint every month, but the banking account numbers are not in my favor. These digits I've been forging, they see attrition in the most explicit fashion and it pains me. I am pointing fingers now. This is all because of Internet banking. Thanks. With this, I don't even get to feel the actual cold hard cash before I give it away to some stranger on the receiving end, who is sitting comfortably just pressing numbers on her keyboard to indicate which bill I have or have not paid. Assuming that is how it works.

It's a vicious, fearful cycle as I hunt for yet another job, with a higher pay so I can afford some luxuries once in a while. Only to hear my mother share with me a most expensive form of home repair or refurbishment that she intends to do over the next couple of months. All this nagging while I have my earphones on because I am watching my damn Dexter Season 4 Episode 8 which I have conveniently downloaded. TVRSS does not fail me.

When I do get the chance to, Jobstreet doesn't think I'm qualified enough to apply for that job. But whatever. So I cough up another bizarre and out of the ordinary cover letter claiming to be the King of the World so I can take on the tasks my mother has tasked upon me.

Did you know that particular episode was named Roadkill as well? My hedgehog is famous on Dexter. Except, his name is Roadkill McSlaughter. He is showing some signs of loneliness. So I hop on the search engine and try to figure out what could make him happy and less lonely, something short of getting a bleeding female counterpart. This opens a whole new career for me. I am now an avid collector of garbage. I keep empty toilet paper tubes to make him tunnels for him to sniff around in and play with. Does this garner a higher pay? Probably not.

Another curious question to which I think I have an answer to. With so many things one can do on the Internet, in which order do you do it? Let your current situation lead you into it? Or load up on as much information as you can before committing yourself to 5 and a half years of cleaning hedgehog poop? Again, I don't think that it is wise for me to share this one right now.

****************

In its place, I should probably share this song. Totally unrelated. But I've been raving about them for a while, so I thought I'd justify myself.


Uh Huh Her - Say So

The Behavioral Study of Internet Downloads

Wow. This is shockingly reflective. I happen to be in a deeply reflective mood today. Well, not of myself of course. Of other things. Must say that I am not in any sort of dire need to self-indulge and talk about feelings tonight or any form of emotional debauchery for that matter. Feelings are boring. Feelings are intangible. Intangibly insignificant.

For obvious reasons, you and I, we are both here. It's a World Wide Web full of Hyper-Text Markup Language and Active Server Pages. You're hooked and you can't live without it. Probably. And our imaginary friend for adults is oh-so-kind as to let us meet here, with you random very few who read my random very intrepidly shameless ramblings from time to time. And it doesn't matter if you're an atheist because no names are named here.

I am going to take you on a journey of maybe chronologically assembled events, possibly from the time you click that one apparently embossed icon on your desktop or wherever you put all your shortcut keys. Subject: duh, not you.

The first thing I do is to check my e-mail. Click. Junk mail, junk mail, oh, what have we here - 3 million free flights, more junk mail, time to pay my bills, junk mail again, will Facebook ever stop sending me notifications? And on rare occasions in my monotonous life, I get an actual electronic mail from an actual person. None of that computer-generated crap. I keep what I want to revisit, and trash out the rest. And sometimes I regret for trashing them.

Ah, an instant message from an acquaintance. Oh, you want to know how I am? Today, of all days? Why, hello there. I am fine. Thank you. Now will you please just be a Yenta somewhere else and go back to minding your own business Talk to me when you really want to talk to me instead of using me to hide your pathetic loneliness. Boy, am I grumpy.

And then I Facebook. No hassle there, user ID and passwords have already been saved. Farmville invites, Yoville gifts, please spare me. Again, I delete what I don't like - same as yesterday, and the days before that. Ooh, Cafe World! Let's whip up something. Something that takes 12 hours to cook so I can serve it the minute I wake up tomorrow morning. Voodoo Chicken Salad maybe? Then I save progress and let the game run by itself.

Moving on to Myspace. Click, click, click on Music. I am feeling a little Alternative tonight. Let's listen to maybe Three Days Grace. Pretty well played. So I open a new tab on my browser.

Isohunt, look out. Pop some keywords into the search field. My, my. Choices, choices. Pause for just a split second to think if my Utorrent is overworking on the downloads. Check. Wow. Dexter, Bones, Madmen, Criminal Minds, Weeds, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy. Shoot. But I cannot resist clicking one of every title I see. Okay, this one has a song that's already in that previous one I clicked. Let's forgo this one for now. Save as bookmark.

Oh, hello there, Questionable Content. Any episodes today? Loading, loading. Yes. Short read and quickly dismissed laugh. Find Twitter icon. Click. Whoa, this Spinzer is totally hogging my entire screen. Tweet something invisible, maybe tonight someone will notice my message and actually get it. Apparently, I get cryptic when I get to say just 10 words or less. Stalk some people. And I'm done for the night.

Be thankful. Or not, whatever keeps your blithe and merry. You have just seen my psychotic behavior on the Internet. And I don't just mean the stalker bit. I do most my stalking on notebooks, usually consisting names and hearts of all shapes and sizes and colors around them.

Well, the point is. From the very second you log on to anywhere, to do anything, and I really do mean anything at all, you are presented with options. You make decisions, probably of very tiny consequence (seriously, what do you have to lose if you don't accept the Kung Pao Stir Fry - it's virtual anyway), or you make a huge impact on someone else's life by say, telling your best friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. With you.

I'm extremely curious. What influences all these decisions and choices? I have a few theories of my own. And I think they only make sense to me. Sorry, I'm not feeling any more of that generosity of sharing personal information. Maybe next time, when the fountain of eternal youth is built.

****************

In the meantime, here's a piece of my playlist. It's a bit long, I know. But it's worth it. I especially liked the beginning.


The Maine - Into Your Arms

Promise Me You'll Never Go Away

Vodka and Solo Lemon is such a great match.


Tegan and Sara - My Number

Oh. Come. On.

Don't bloody annoy me with your constant inane ramblings. Shut up already. I don't have time to deal with insignificance, ones such as yours.

Uh Huh Her

People should totally listen to them.

The Menace In Me

I think it's time for a wake up call. I've been behaving like a recluse for the past, I don't know, three weeks? Immersed in a sense of narcissism.

I am churlish. I am cynical. I am unaccommodating. I am niggardly. I am a menace that walks this land. Her stale limpid eyes pierce through my heart. Am I bound to this life, or am I clinging on to it?

Sometimes you think I don't care. Sometimes you miss me. Sometimes we walk together. Sometimes you frustrate me. Sometimes you make me jealous. Sometimes I frighten you. Sometimes you frighten me. But not always.

I think it takes a certain degree of sacrifice. I want to eviscerate myself for you because every glance I steal I feel completely dismantled. I will give you my pulpy putrid mass of a heart. But I am selfish in my reticence. I cannot will not give you the miles of mountains you ask for.

I am a menace. You know it. I know it.

Tweety

Is the current favourite. Only because it is free of a certain poison that will hop on the bandwagon.

Two stalks of roses,
Two lines of thorns,
One perfectly hidden,
One out in the open.

Well, lookie here. I can write me poetry sometimes.

Please Shut Up

I cannot hear myself think. On some days, it quiets down. But today, it gets so loud.


Magneta Lane - The Constant Lover

Skippidee Skip

For three-quarters of 48 hours over the weekend I stayed put at home and drowned myself in The L Word. And it was great.

For whatever I am feeling right now, I don't know if it's just a phase. There was always this pull factor.

PS: Serves Jenny Schecter right, that psycho lunatic nut case.

Damn The Sore Ears

God forbid if my 70-year-old mother should hear any of this. So my ears are sore. On a brighter side of things, there is this song.


Tracy Bonham - Naked

****************

I spilled my guts on your best shoes.

Pening

Don't you want to fuck her?


Heart is throbbing.

WPE 8511

Screw you, egoistic scumbag. I hope you crash your car, paralyze yourself and slowly rot to death into a piece of disgusting gooey mush.

Roundabout

I never found out how to be. And I regret it.

FML

No, seriously.

FML.


RM2,5XX ÷ 16pcs = FML

You Are Evil

And I would like to watch your flesh disintegrate into mush.

Thanks.

The Current Job

Is quite shitty.

But I love it. Even if it's killing all my friends one by one. I love it.

At least I am learning something. At least I can use that something to increase my self-worth.

I am tired. But it's so worth it. I love it.

: )

Don't Be Such A Wuss

And pin it on the person who is most likely to have committed the crime.

And blame it on the easiest target because you thought of an excuse to make it happen.

And seek apology from the person who got rid of your trash for you.

And whine in a corner or sulk with your face in the wall.

Because that bitch hates me before even knowing me in person (and I am a fun person - hence the bitchy jokes or schadenfreude that comes from the blurts). So what does that say about her?

The minuscule Klang Valley that we live in would do better if she would have minded her own bloody business and not point her aimless hatred and rage at people she doesn't even know, then pin it on jealousy. It's like what did I ever do to that low-life scum(ette) anyway? I didn't call her names (not until now, at least), I didn't badmouth her, I didn't spread rumors about her (like others once subjected me to), I didn't even so much as exchange glances with her before she started hating me. The only reason I can think of is that you and I, we have always gotten along well and after you mercilessly dumped the ex, while still keeping in (relatively) close contact with me made her feel dissatisfied on your ex'es behalf. Again, mind your own bloody business. What? Jealous because I had that kind of power over you? Hello? The keyword here if you're too stupid to know is HAD.

By the way, El is hands down, winner by a landslide, in a no-brainer survey a far better person that that piping idiot (in this life or the next) could ever be. She, I kind of liked. Just for her well-mannered, soft-spoken behavior.

Although, I suppose it was the alcohol (I'm such a wuss too, I'm blaming the alcohol - but alcohol causes one to lose their inhibitions, no?) that fueled what was an inappropriate action. If there was one thing I'd be sorry about, is how slowly you will realize how good El was for you. (Okay, and maybe that I should have done it secretly instead of right in front of her, because technically, on a good day, everyone gets hugs from my very well insulated beer belly and flabby but cushiony arms). But honestly? If she can dump you because some random ex was generous with cuddles, it doesn't really say much about her feelings for you, does it?

Now of course I could have minded my own bloody business too, you know, just for the effect of kettle calling the pot black, which is just about all that I am sorry for. You of all people should know hugs, kisses and bodily contact in general come easily with me (I'm actually friendly-ish you know, if I give a shit la). What are we, in the dark ages? Skin contact not allowed until marriage? Oh puh-lease, come off it already.

And if by people who 'advise' you, you mean people who tell you what they think but you proceeded to switch on your selective hearing, how does that reflect on YOU? Spare me the I'm-so-noble-I-still-wanted-us-to-be-friends speech. Save it for when your scumette really needs it (a time such as now perhaps). If it were my nasty asshole of an ex-colleague, he would have told you it was because you didn't even have the balls to stand up for what you genuinely thought (without a speck of doubt) was right for you. Or you didn't have the balls to do what is painful and excruciating but for your own good. You could have listened. Why wait until now? Why wait until you have an excuse and someone to blame on?

THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WE WOULD NEVER HAVE WORKED OUT. I loved you once. I continued to love you after that (yeah, after the whole being bi-sexual drama). But no matter how much feelings I poured out, you were still going to be who you are. Unambitious, whiny and just have a very poor sense of rationality in general.

My question now is, what is your next step? Go back to this bitch whose character is such that she sticks her nose into other people's business that is in the past and forever live under her thumb with no sense of freedom? Or wake the fuck up and take a good look in the mirror and figure out what you want to do that will propel you forward in life? It's one way or the other, there is no gray area, there is no doing both. There is no Golden Mean.

Lastly, yes. I AM happy. And yes. This IS the ending I wanted to see. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Kthxbai.

Unbelievable

I still cannot believe I come here and have these thoughts. They’re not really unpleasant thoughts, but they’re not really pleasant either. And I still cannot believe I have this vulnerability against this one particular song.

How easily I forget. How conveniently I dragged everything from one folder into that column. It draws a most unsightly grimace from me, even as I was about to break my own high score on Tetris.

Tetris. God, that game is such a classic. You know what would be cool to put in my house next time? A Pacman machine. The ones you see in the arcades like dinosaur years ago. Like in Weeds. Such beautiful lights. Such mesmerising neon lights. I would go crazy with that.

Oh yes. About the grimace. Almost as suddenly as I twitched my eyes and shrugged, I realised I was hurrying to the computer to skip the song and then proceed to delete it from my playlist. Weird isn’t it? How one song can make people do things, or not do things.

My hot barrister cousin (already no one can ever win a debate against a barrister, let alone a hot one - and yes I like to call her that, the hot one) asked me about it. Please don’t spare the juicy details, she added. Bawling drama ensued. Well, not really bawling like bawling. My ego had the courtesy of informing me that it was actually only half a tear. And cliché as it may sound, it suddenly hit me.

Was I upset because I really loved him, or was I upset because he was this prospect of a good life? There is no black and white, this one. Evidently, it would be easier if it were the latter because it is the easier out, the lesser of two evils. If I were to give it a certain percentage, I’d say 60-40. It’s not wrong, is it? To have such a high percentage on the prospect of a quality life? I read somewhere (and I can’t remember where) that being attracted to someone for the prospect of leading a good life is like being attracted to someone because of a particular skill like say, playing the piano, or belly dancing or something.

But I feel like I have wronged someone. So gravely. And I really am clueless as to how I’m going to make it up. Or make myself feel less guilty. Should I continue to be taken advantage of by said someone? Does this make it better? And if it does, for whom? Can you feel the eternal question changing now?

I remember going berserk. I flipped. And now there is no mending it. So I’m not getting calls anymore. But at what and whose expense?

Score 1 for another eternal question.

Seven-Thirty

Can't remember the last time I woke up at seven-something. All in the name of showing some gian-ness for the first day at work.

And oh my God. It is hard.

Edit
Ching announces "Don't know when was the last time I woke up at seven-something."
Boss replies "Today."

So brutal :(

The Cast of Weeds

I don't know. Is Hunter Parrish hot?



But this one definitely is. Look at those big bright doe eyes.



I don't know. I'm liking Weeds better than Dexter.

Happy Raya all.

Bag-Packing

Updates!

Going to pack my bags and haul them over to a new place. I've been bought out. I'm doing the same-shit-different-place thing.

Also managed to kenzzz the food poisoning whaturf. It's not funny. I had anal leakage. No fun. No fun at all. Stuff were exiting both ways. Up north and down south. Seriously not fun.

Counting down to Sydney. This is so exciting. Finally, finally, finally.

: )

The Neighbour's Spitz

The neighbour had a crazy dog (using past tense is so upsetting right now). He's attempted several attacks on me. Yet, when I come home from work at night, he stands on his hind feet by the divider to greet me. And I've come to like this psychotic excuse of a canine. Mom feeds him cabbage and eggs most nights.

This morning, I woke up to mom's scream for help. She was outside, watering the plants. The DBKL men were here. Crazy dog was surrounded by three men with these sticks with a wire hoop at the end (what do you call those anyway?). My mom screamed and pleaded with them not to take him away. He belonged to someone (OMFG past tense again).

They wouldn't listen. My mom, in a desperate attempt to get the dog to come into our house, accidentally 'watered' two of the men. They thought it was intentional and yelled back (like wanna fight kind of yell). Mom apologized but yelled back and said we are all Malaysians, there is no reason to fight.

I can't decided whether I should use the word asshole or retard (but I have reason to believe it's both), but he said I am Indian. I am from India. Mom didn't like racial issues so she scolded 'Well, why are you still here? Go back to India!' While they were having this argument, the other guy secured crazy dog.

And mom, aunt and I watched as they dragged the poor dog by the neck up the van. Murphy was barking in protest. Tong Tong and Fan Shu too.

Mom said she tried her best to get crazy dog to come into our house. She yelled for the neighbour to come out and take crazy dog back. Neighbour didn't show. The last time that happened to their dog, who was crazy dog's mother, neighbour was standing right there and refused to pay the RM30 fine. So she just watched her get dragged away and eventually, put down. Cold-blooded cow. The last time, mom took 2 weeks to get over it.

And this house. Mom's a dog lover. Aunt's a dog lover. Me, I just have a soft spot for animals.

And my home will mourn the loss of this crazy dog for a week because all of a sudden, there's no crazy dog to feed.

Firefox Says I'm An Embarrassment

T_T

I Think Emo Went For A Vacation

And I hope it never comes back.

My computer loves me too much. It refused to play just this one song, and in its place, I was forced to play Jyukai, so will you just stop asking me already? I don't know what I am trying to pickle here. I am obviously, and with good reason, not a bloody cook.

****************

I try to convince myself that my mom hadn't discovered some sort of chronic illness that will render her unable to nag me for the rest of my life. It also scares me terribly because I have attachment issues. Who else will be my resident nagger, my midnight stalker, my first-aid kit, my slumber-molester, my snore opera?

And apparently, paranoia came to visit.

Ridiculous Beyond Human Comprehension

I have just one thing to say about bosses who bring the entire family reunion to their workplace.

This is undeniably the most ridiculous most unprofessional thing an employer can do, IT IS NOT FAMILY FUCKING DAY, you moronic imbecile.

You don't tayang the success of your clickety-clack-shoe-wearing three sperms every single day at work, you just don't.

Some Pieces Left

I thought I was kidding me. The inane ramblings totally skipped my mind. For a minute there, I was breathing inside this sphere. Some pieces left and some came back, there are some left.

I just remembered this sudden thing. That I have this song. When I do this thing, I hear this song. When I nestle. Or at least try. Seems about right now. Finally it's falling. Your song keeps me company sometimes. Sometimes I don't care for them but they haunt me. In a way.

Funny how a way and away mean almost two different things. If you're lost in a labyrinth of crypts and if you've exhausted all your means of escaping and just curl up in a ball and watch your life fade to a noise of whites and grays and escaping blacks. Funny, isn't it? Funnier how I like away more because a way pulled me back on a leash, its tug so degrading there is no mending it.

You and I, we will coat ourselves with hot tarmac and burn them down. I hope, at least. At least I'm pretty sure I'm in the right spot for that now.

Langkawi 2009: Operasi Telan

Purchase successful: 3 crates.
Fridge capacity: 70 cans.

Not Random

I want so bad to call you and talk to you and be there for you. But I am afraid. Afraid I would make it worse. I know it's selfish of me but I am afraid I will cry too. Just know that I love you, OK? I love you. So much.

Updates

1. I have short hair.

2. I am going to Langkawi.

3. I have a life (away from Facebook, Twitter and Blogspot).

4. I found awesome friends (my kind of friends) in the form of Laupiah, Miao, Lamb, Socialslut, OMFGFADC, Babybumface.

5. Life is looking good now : )

****************

A happy song for a happy day. OMFG so cute.


Otsuka Ai - Momo no Hanabira

I Have Hand Tail OK!

Coffee went OK.

Except, are good looking guys boring? Because this one is. We might as well have ASL-ed each other.

No. No do. >.<

Dear Satan

Would you lend me a dollar?

Coffee

Dear Mr. KY Teoh/Kenny Sia,

In light of your recent interest in my case of Get-Contact-While-Driving occurence, I am delighted to inform you, said offender has made contact earlier today.

We are going for coffee this weekend. However, there is strong doubt that booty will happen during this appointment.

Thank you for your inquiry and I will keep you posted.

Regards,
Ching

Misia - Snow Song

My OMFGFADC said this was damn good. But I didn't believe him.

I've changed my mind. The animation itself is so pretty!



Perfect for X-Cuddlemaster-3000 nights.

<3

Sand Animation

This is absolutely beautiful. I couldn't bear to blink my eyes.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Watermelon Skin

After eating super spicy pan mee at Bao Bao today, I felt my tummy churning.

And you know what they say about eating spicy and shitting spicy. Here's a quick solution.



You eat a slice of watermelon, this will cool your tummy.

Then save the skin to gosok your butt crack to relieve the burning sensation. This will cool the ahem.

Disclaimer: Slipping on watermelon skins are uncommon, but should that happen, I shall not be held responsible.

People Really Do This

The funniest thing happened to me yesterday, while I was stuck in the jam along Federal Highway.

This chee bye black Satria Neo tried to jump queue by going on the emergency lane. So I was damn tu lan because look, we are all stuck in the same shit. Why should you be so special as to move to the front of the queue?

And so I steered slightly to the left. Not really on the emergency lane, but hogging enough space to block him. (Smug laugh here)

At the turning into LDP (more commonly known as the Motorola turning), he couldn't stop looking over at me. So I looked back. And he looks back. And I looked back again. And this happened for like the next 500m or something. So I beh tahan (because this dude quite cute la) and mouthed 'What?' to him.

He sticks out his thumb and pinky and waves it next to his face. Then he signals me to wind my passenger side window down. I ignored it. But he couldn't stop harassing me. (Good thing?) So I wound the damned window down and gave him my number.

Then I sped off thinking in the exact words of ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You Cheated!

And I caught you.

No matter how relentless you are, I just keep catching you, don't I? Oh, yes. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And if I could, I would grow me some eyes on the back of my head.

He taught me something today. That mistakes cannot be transfered from one to another. A lesson that came from much affection. He gives me something to look forward to. Even after I've given him the demons residing in my clogged veins. One could not hope for more.


Jane Siberry - Calling All Angels

No This Is Not Dinner Okay!

That's code. For er...

I'm not telling :P

I was planning to diarise something really fun, but as luck would have it (yes, sometimes Lady Luck gets drunk and forgets she hates me), I'm going to show you a deep, revealing post about myself.

Not.

Marriage is like "willingly entering the last legal form of slavery" according to 27 Dresses anyway. Who would've thought my slave was there since the beginning of time? And it took me the longest 5 years of my life to see it.

Dahling, I think you were wrong. And right, at the same time. There was a reason why this didn't happen so many years ago. We had other priorities at that time. And without these past 4 plus years, and the drama we both went through, I probably wouldn't see it in the first place. It was right under my nose all this time.

Do you know something? I can see this happening. I really can. I haven't been happy for a while. I deserve this, don't I? This time, I won't screw up, because he already knows everything there is to know about me. From the very beginning of it.

I hope you're happy for me. And one last thing. About you. You know you can't plan these things right? My advice is to just stick with it until there's really nothing else that can be done. I want you to be happy too, you know.

: )

If You Get It, You're My Hero

Friday, June 26, 2009.
It's on. I'm off again.

Friday, July 3, 2009.
It's on again. I'm off.

Friday, July 10, 2009.
It's on. I'm on too.

Thursday, July 16, 2009.
It's on. I'm off too.

Thursday, July 23, 2009.
It's on. But I'm not off.

****************

P/S: Alcoholics in office w00t! :D

Thursday Already!

• Nobody gives a shit about Thursdays. Everyone's already looking at Friday and thinking what to do.

• I was tipsy at the mummy-dinner. We had drinks in office. Those alcoholics. I had a reason okay. The Ipoh flyers came out wrong! Very stressed one!

• Free movie today. Darling, when can we get our you-know-what and our you-also-know-what? I cannot wait. I think Jim Brickman's songs would do good too!

• Finally, I genuinely don't care anymore. Up until Monday, without fail, the capital 'I' was lying around so inconspicuously, but still so obviously there. I just realized today, that it's not there anymore! : )

• Sunday will be a blast, you'll see.

Cheerios!

Bali 2009: Kenny's Effing Cold Expression

Rupa-rupanya it is so easy to create an animated gif.

Muahaha...





FYI, he's also quite power la. Despite the cold, he managed to complete doing the whole 12-statue ritual thing while us girls just watched and recorded his facial expression. Too bad this Picasion thing only lets me upload a maximum of 10 photos. I have like 40 photos of his face all scrunched up. Hahaha...

Found My Calling

Guess what my MSN nickname reads!

"Fuck you right back Arthur!"

Fuck you again and again Arthur! Rawr!

Okay, so this is my calling. Two Fridays ago, I joined the OMFGFADC and friends for beer. It was so much fun. But then came the wives, so I guess everyone kind of had to tone down the wild side.

But I swear on my own tombstone, last Friday was freaking awesome blossom okay! This is my calling. I'm sure of it. I am calling it my weekly Vitamin B meetings.

There was this game. They called it the 'Fuck You' Game. You fuck somebody, flip open a card, somebody calls out to either double your fuck or divert your fuck to someone else, then you drink (the card row multiplied by the number of fucks you get), and right before you put your glass down, you have to fuck someone else, failing which you have to drink again.

It isn't as complicated as it sounds. This game of drunken politics is by far, the best and most effective drinking game I've ever played! The OMFGFADC got chewed with 5 mugs in less than an hour. Poor fellow.

Beer, people. Is my calling.

****************

I did it. I did it. I did it! I've never felt so liberated in my life before! :D

Bali 2009: Going Places Tra-la-la

Bali this year may be the best thing that has happened to me. It taught me one thing. Never frown no matter how glaring the sun is and must definitely shamelessly appear in photos more. Okay, that's two things.


Cabs are quite cheap in Bali, especially when sharing with 4 other people.


I was determined to learn how to surf. But it was a bit boh shiok doing it alone, so I managed to bug someone to do it with me.


Since the beach was quite a distance away, surf shop dude gave us a ride. Three of us on ONE bike. You know how many laws we are breaking if we do this in KL?


Kenny whips out he trusty G10 and proceeds to whoresnap.


Now I know this is hardly proof that I managed to squat for 2 extremely proud seconds, surfing is so much harder than it looks. By the way, the surfboard is quite heavy, so there was a guy hiding behind it to support the weight. Hur hur hur...


Kenny Sia. Yeng. Hou lan yeng.


I needed to get rid of the sand from the cibai, and Kenny just wanted to wash the salt water off. So we asked the guy where we could grab a quick shower. He asked us to follow him. To a tap. He then proceeded to fill a bucket with water. And then he points. And he says. This is shower. O-khay-then. -.- And yes, I know his body effing hot. No need to tell me so many times ok.


There was this dude who wanted to take photos with us. I thought it was quite bizarre. But very flattered la, because with me, there were three other totally hotness girls la.


After a tiring surf lesson, we headed to (I think) the Nusa Dua beach. Sadly, there weren't any topless chicks to ogle at.


Photographer thinks to himself "This dude damn lucky leh". *smirk*


Some guy approached us and asked if we wanted any photos taken.


We said yes. Doh.


I wasn't aware that my feet were in the process of being immortalized. But thank you Kenny, because I love this photo!


Then we went get our (insufficient) supply of shrooms. We entrusted that bottle to Rin here, who, at dinner, asked for a bowl of ice especially to keep the shrooms cold and not icky. We have elected the right guardian of the shroom. Hahaha...


Dinner at Jimbaran. Don't suppose I need to tell you again to not get conned by the lobster, right.


The Ubud market is kind of like the Malaysian equivalent of Central Market.


Jac does a pfft at Kenny. Me in the background going beh.


Spot the pretty girl!





Spa time! Here's where I ride a motorbike for the third time in my life. After that, for some very peculiar reason unbeknown to man, I kind of got hooked.


Best 2 hours of my life! I fell asleep during the lulur.


Huge statue of some scary-faced god of some sort.


We are this close to absorbing all the local people's bad luck.


We sure look happy now. Wait till we dip our lucky feet into the pool of unfortunate water.


There. Absorbing 15% done. 40% done. 75% done. 90% done. 100% completed. We're screwed.


These two trot by and without a care in the world, dipped their feet in too! Silly, silly girls.


It was freaking cold. And not the sitting in air-conditioning for the whole day then take cold shower kind of cold. It was the freezing kind of cold. These people all damn power ok. I am going to google how to make my own gif icon. Then I'm gonna try posting Kenny's reaction to the cold. He was the only one who went and did the whole 12 statues praying thing. Like a ritual of some sort.


View of the sunrise from our rooms. Let me recall a most traumatic event. The previous night, when we arrived at Padangbai, there was a blackout. So we decided to drive out to hunt for food. On the way back, we were so hungry that we stopped at a roadside stall for chicken dog chicken (or so they claim) satay. I think Kenny and I whacked like half of it. Until we decided it wasn't so good and went back to the hotel area to eat. Wasn't any better either. I shat shit juice that night.


Back to the pretty, pretty sunrise (which Rin and I didn't manage to catch because we couldn't be bothered waking up at 5 in the morning).


Breakfast at the hotel was refreshingly, quite decent. I like this photo of us : )


Heading out to the snorkeling site. Silhouette photos tend to look artsy, don't you think?


Jac's legs, my legs. Rin's legs nowhere to be found. I think she's afraid of the water. Hahaha!!


For some reason, I like these two photos because of how the top part of the water frames the underwater shot.


We changed snorkeling spots, and after their kena-sting incident, it was quite tough convincing Rin to go back into the water for the second time.


But we did it anyway. =P


Kenny and I went to 'collect' the girls who went to hide out at the beach where we were washed upshore. While I went back into the water to look for Kenny, the two were content just lazing by the beach.


While I was ridding myself of the cibai masuk pasir trauma, the girls did some underwater camwhoring.


I could almost imagine her speech bubble. "Help! Glug glug glug. I'm trapped! Glug glug glug"


Before we left the hotel, everyone took a photo with the shroomy poster at the hotel lounge.


The only photo of me with shroomy goddess of the universe.


Then we went to Canggu, where we fell in love with both the villa and the food from the nearby restaurant.


Rin muka thinking what to eat. Ching muka tulan for no reason.


Ching muka bulat.


At The Beach House (that's the name of the restaurant), Cindy, Jac and Kenny went to camwhore some more.


It's got a kind of very married couple look to it, this one.


This was where we did our gluttony deed.


Tanah Lot.


Just the girls please.


Oh seriously, you have no idea how happy I was to be surrounded by these girls. Buahahahaha!! Internal reveling in process.


Rin attempting to eat Burger Supreme Tanah Lot.


Girly line-up minus 1.


The only sunset we didn't miss. Evidently, Cindy was captivated by it all.


Hot stone massage on our last day there. So awhsum I swear!