Football

SPAIN 1-0!!!

And I'm happy because my religion is not Muslim, Christian or any other religion that prohibits its devotees from gambling or punishes them by an almighty stroke of lightning followed by an extremely painful afterlife. Because I won myself RM85. Because I took Spain's side. Only because I refused to put my money in the hands of Nazis.

Happy news aside.

Last freaky Friday, I had plans to go out drinking with Ivan. Then on freaky Saturday, I was supposed to meet WJM for another night out. Nothing freaky right. That's because the plans were made two days in advance.

Then fucking hormones gotta start raging and gave me two zits. Two phenomenally large crater-looking zits, which infected my legs with a viral kind of paralysis, which in turn kept me from lifting my limp foot out of the house. For the whole weekend.

To make matters worse, I was not only computer and MSN-deprived, I was also DVD and TV-deprived. There was an electronic famine in my house. And I was undergoing what is known to man as entertainment starvation. So freaking sien that I even came as close to contemplating suicide.

That's when I discovered the magical entertainment values of the Nintendo DS Lite Super Mario: Partners in Crime Time. And on Sunday, I discovered yet another form of entertainment. Ball.

Went for steamboat in Puchong with fellow friends. They were all guys. And as with all other existing male species in the universe, the only thing anyone can expect to be a topic of conversation is balls. Whether someone has balls, whose balls are bigger, whose balls hairier, rounder, more meaty, packs more sperms and football.

I've made two discoveries.

1. Football is the stupidest game ever made.
There are 22 full-grown men running after 1 ball. Somehow, I cannot get past that fact. And I've made this discovery before they discovered white bread. They make a few million pounds per week! Can't they afford to buy one? (Bimbo remark for bimbo but very rich men).

2. Football is dangerous.
Forget the multiple foot injuries any one player can suffer throughout the season. They asked for it. But it is dangerous even for the people who are just innocent spectators. Getting beaten to death with a tire iron, or strangled with a sweaty sock, or choked with hairy armpits. Even for people who do not watch football, when it's football season, people will bet. And you can bet on everything.

From who kicks off, to who scores the first goal, to who wins the match. What happens to the people who lose? I've known people who lost their cars and homes in ONE game. The thing is, it's okay if you lose your stuff, but don't come begging for money from everyone else or expecting other people to pay for your food. Go be a freaking pauper somewhere else. Preferably in River Styx.