Project Cheerleader: Oliver James - The Greatest Story Ever Told

Time for a slightly happier song today. Maybe, just maybe, I can.

Greatest Story Ever Told - Oliver James

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for
Here you are

If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
tonight

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine

It's the way we touch, it soothes me
It's the way we'll always be
your kiss your pretty smile
you know i'd die for
oh baby
you're all i need

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
just how much i really need you
did I tell you that I love you
tonight
tonight

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
just how much I really need you
did I tell you that I love you tonight

Apparently I did lose it. You're holding it hostage. I need it back. And soon. But even if it's for tonight, just tonight, I love you.

Project Cheerleader: Lifehouse - Broken

Found this song on Grey's Anatomy. Elderly man who refused to let his elderly wife go, even after the DNR. Fucking sad.

Kind of like me.

Broken - Lifehouse

The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
(I'm still holdin on) (I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
(I'm still holdin')
(I'm holdin' on)
(I'm still holdin')
(I'm holdin' on)
(I'm still holdin')
Barely holding on to you (I'm still holdin on)
Barely holdin on to you

I wonder why these songs don't play in full. Geram. Must click only can hear the full song. Benci.

****************

Is it normal for people to suddenly bleed from the ear? And it's not even a pimple. I swear.

Here's something disgusting to remember this day by.

Punny Sense

"But we're still waiting for Superman, I mean Lex Luthor to come back. Damn I should have said return."

So loaded with puns. There are 3 pairs of puns here. Yumcha on me for getting all three right.

Project Cheerleader: Angela Aki - This Love

Blood+ kaki, I love this song. Long story, how I found Angela Aki. Was downloading Uverworld and found them in Blood+. Bought Blood+ CD found Angela Aki - This Love. Went to Japan, bought Angela Aki's Today CD. Best thing ever. Sakurairo later.

This Love - Angela Aki

"ai ga areba heiwa da" to dare ka ga kuchi ni shite

ita
unazuku hito mo ireba, utagau hito mo iru

kurushimi ga aru kara koso anata wo dakishimeru toki
sono ude no yasashi sa wo heiwa to kanjiru no deshou

aru toki kara mukuchi ni nari kokoro wo shimekiri
kono koi ga hikisakaresou ni natta

kasaneta kono te wo
kondo wa hanasanai
shinjiru chikara ga
ai wo jiyuu ni suru

yuujou ni sukuwaretari, mirai wo souzou shitari
shiawase wa mieru keredo jibun wo miru koto wa nai

yakusoku to iu watashi tachi no konpasu dake de wa
kono koi wa hougaku wo miushinau no

kiseki wo matsu yori
kono te wo tsunagitai
shinjiru chikara ga
watashi wo jiyuu ni suru

kono koi wo osorezu ni
You don't have to fear this love, this love

kasaneta kono te wo
kondo wa hanasanai
shinjiru chikara ga
ai wo jiyuu ni suru

kiseki wo matsu yori
kono te wo tsunagitai
shinjiru chikara ga
watashi wo jiyuu ni suru

I know this is awesome. And I've been shioking sendiri in the car everyday non-stop. It made me cry more than any song. Yes. Pupus included.

****************

You didn't hear me. Didn't mean to stir. Don't have to see. And I am okay.

Daniel

Finally. Something that totally makes me deliriously happy.

I am so in love.



OMFG.

Project Cheerleader: Gackt - Last Song

I know, I know.

Gackt appeals to my soul right now. And I can't help it. They used this song for Saishuu Heiki no Kanojo video clip. It was quite sad. He was so in love with her. But...

Last Song - Gackt

Atemonaku hitori samayoi arukitsuzuketa
Kasuka na toiki o tada shiroku somete
Utsuri kawari yuku kisetsu no sono hakanasa ni
Wake mo naku namida ga koboreta
"Ima mo aishite iru..."

Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru
Zutto sora o miageteta
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete

Wakari aenakute nandomo kizutsuketeita
Sonna toki demo itsumo yasashikute
Fui ni watasareta yubiwa ni kizamareteita
Futari no yakusoku wa kanawanai mama ni
"Ima mo oboeteiru..."

Toozakaru omoide wa itsumademo mabushi sugite
Motto soba ni itakatta
Mou nido to aenai kedo itsumo soba de sasaete kureta
Anata dake wa kawaranai de ite
Saigo ni miseta namida ga kisenakute

Kono shiroi yukitachi to issho ni kiete shimattemo
Anata no kokoro no naka ni zutto saite itai kara

Yorisotte dakiatta nukumori wa wasurenaide ne
Chigau dareka o aishitemo
Saigo ni kiita anata no koe o kono mama zutto hanasanai mama
Fukaku nemuri ni ochitai

Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru
Zutto sora o miageteta
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete
"Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete.."

Sugooi (is sugooi i adjective or na adjective? hmm...) kurushikatta, ima mo. Gackt's Missing sounds so happy and I want to be like that again. It is so 'happily ever after'. Which wishing well will grant me that?

Project Cheerleader: Ingrid Michaelson - Keep Breathing

Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

All that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

I guess I'm just saying I will just keep breathing. I guess I am slowly bouncing back. Slowly getting back up on my feet. Thanks Jiro and Mady. You two have been very good friends to me. Thank you. : )

Project Cheerleader: Lisa Loeb - Stay (I Missed You)

Lisa Loeb - Stay (Acoustic) - Lisa Loeb

You say I only hear what I want to.
You say I talk so all the time so.
And I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don't belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
Yeah yeah, I missed you.
And you say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard,
don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
to anyone, anywhere,
I don't understand if you really care,
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
lover's in love, and the other's run away,
lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
Well, well, this is not that;
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.
You try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.
Yeah, I miss you.
You said, "I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go."
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just
scared to lose.
And you say, "Stay."
And you say I only hear what I want to.

This makes so much sense. I don't have the strength or will to pull back, pathetic as it may be. Too late to regret, I wasn't worth a chance.

Project Cheerleader: Jewel - Foolish Games

FOOLISH GAMES - JEWEL

You took your coat off and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You were always brilliant in morning
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee
You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
You'd teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you
Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself
These foolish games are tearing me apart
You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You took off your coat and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that

I like the entire song. I think they played this song in the first Batman. The one with Katie Holmes. I didn't like her so I didn't watch. Hur.

This morning I woke up slightly more rested than before. Without the drinking. How long can this go? Maybe not so long.

There will games day tomorrow afternoon. Playing Taboo. What is it ah?

Project Cheerleader: Firehouse - When I Look Into Your Eyes

When I Look into Your Eyes - Firehouse

I see forever when I look in your eyes
You're all I ever wanted, I always want you to be mine
Let's make a promise 'till the end of time
We'll always be together, and our love will never die

When I look into you eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life
Now that I've found you, we will never say goodbye
I can't stop this feeling and there's nothing I can do
'Cause I see everything, when I look at you

When I look into your eyes
I can see how much I love you
And it makes me realize
When I look into your eyes
We will always be together, and our love will never die
When I look into your eyes
I see all my dreams come true
When I look into your eyes
When I look into your eyes

This song sounds kind of old. Should replace look with looked. It used to be like this and now it's not. And I think I'm kind of like killing myself over it. Thank goodness I managed to sleep. Alcohol kicks sleep deprivation's ass. Big big time.

****************

Why won't this thing play in full? Tsk.

Project Cheerleader: Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

Kimi Ni Aitakute - Gackt

"Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
Mou ichido kono te wo tsunaide hoshii"

"Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
Wasureru koto nante dekiyashinai kara
Kimi ga mienakute nandomo kizutsuketa keredo
Mou ichido kono te wo tsunaide hoshii"

"Itusmo tsunaida te wa atatakakatta"

Jiro, I love you too because you taught me this song and its meaning. Mady this is a platonic love by the way. Somehow your darling here will always care even though we don't keep in touch, he would text me things like take care, it'll be okay whenever he hears that I am in trouble. You are like this too. And you two are great together.

****************

"one knot tied
after so long

one knot undone
please, won't you heal?"

Ouch, but at the same time, aww.

Dessert Math.

To Exhaust Myself

I couldn't sleep last night. So I cleaned my shelves. And browsed old websites. Blogs. You were so deep, and I almost couldn't understand you. 4 years later, now I do why you said what you said about it. The pain is only starting to hit me now. Because I only understand now. You are amplifying it, do you know?

"i wondered what it'd be like if i never met her.

but i lied, i always knew. i just.. forgot.

i wouldn't be any different than what i am today. i wouldn't at all. i'd just be in love with someone else. love is.. essential to a jedi's life. yeah.. just no fucking.

could i enjoy being unloving for one second? i haven't breathed the free air since i knew her.

and now my heart's somewhere else to someone who doesn't care."

I know it's coming from here. I would be your beer. I could want this. But I couldn't. Not now. It would kill you more times, we've talked about this. And you killed me so many times the last time. And so what if the moon is not full? I like it full, but if it's not, I'd just have to wait, won't I? I wonder if you tell B about this now.

"I've stopped trying to see her. But that day in the car with Alanis, I remembered how cold it was. You'd ask me why I talk about Alanis a lot, it's one common thing we had in common. But I don't realise it. When the common points have been broken I find myself developing a fetish for those who stayed intact. Broken arm still gripping."

So why does it always rain when we are in Frankie? And why do I ask over and over? By the way I still can't see the stars. We should try some time.

"You're sad I could see it in your eyes. I make you laugh don't I? The car skids along the curling street, like a finger I'm drawn in. The aligators are okay but the bridge snaps. Castle pride tears civilized apart, lost on the asphalt pride.

Something was taken from me by a fish swimming through its gills. Something was lost that night and I want it back. To stretch the gills and exhale CO2. The street signs show me, street lights flickering an unsaid realization. The Illuminati'd see the vicious triangle. The enlightened one does not warn. Said things clear skies but peering eyes fog obscured.

Sin borne like an epidemic. Sin born like a truth."

And now I really do understand. Am I becoming deep?

And did you draw yourself a one-sided dimple? I would kiss that.

I am hoping to sleep tonight. Because I hadn't slept last night. But I couldn't tonight either, I think. Not after revisiting this. You mellow with age to a normal level of meanness? Your meanness from 4 years ago is only hitting me now. I know you mean well now. And I know you'd want me to be your beer. And I could be.

****************

I really just look at this like one time when you are upset and would really like someone to listen, you find the person who last made contact with you. It is really because I had nobody I could talk to. Like physically talk to.

Today is not about having feelings. Today is about feeling the pain of understanding why it happened. Today the pain is doubled. Maybe more. Because I just came accross him as someone he cannot trust, and because I could never have us back anymore. Today, I really want to drink and die. I would take it all back, all the wrongs I have done. But it doesn't move him. He won't budge. And the pain comes from knowing that it was my fault. That I caused it. So I turn to the person who wants me around because he doesn't want me around anymore and because she provides distraction. And my heart aches because love is not enough. Because he won't trust me. Because he cannot. Because I did this.

I really loved him. But he wouldn't give me another chance. He really doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. So today I really want to drink. Crash. Then, die.

It's stupid but maybe I will.

Project Cheerleader: Kendall Payne - Scratch

"I'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance"

"I used to think I was special
And only I have proved me wrong"

"My stubborn will is learning to bend"

Project Cheerleader: Usher - Separated

Eric, you are a darling. Thanks for the song. And I am sorry about your break up too. Lucky for you, you've found Jingle. : )

Seperated - Usher

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

I'm sorry we didn't make it

This says it all. It's exactly what he would have told me. And it saddens me even more. I know why this was Eric's break up song now.

: (