The Jarring Connection

Yes, I come from a family of crazies. Crazed lunatics with psychotic tendencies. Whack-jobs who simply cannot be sedated or drugged in any way.

It's a chicken and egg thing. By agreeing, you are reinforcing that it is real, when in fact it is not. The more you agree, the more realistic it gets, the harder it is to back away from it, and the more you need to agree with it. Never take the blood for granted.

I am afraid to go home. Afraid to mind my own business. Afraid to walk to the kitchen. I am married to fear and to a family of crazies.

Apparently It's Over

I really didn't mean to laugh. I was in so much pain from being a murderer. What constitutes manslaughter, I wonder. Evidently it's karma and I am paying the price for it.

I feel a little liberated, hearing that. It's unlikely that I will get my chance to probe and pry, or even get back into it. But I still feel liberated. Because I am evil. I am the Evelyn that doesn't exist. Face scarred, wicked thoughts, killer habits. I am Evelyn. But worse.

I think to myself, it could be anyone else. As long as it is not because of me, as long as I didn't have a part in it, as long as I didn't contribute to any of it happening.