Them Schoolmates

It's kind of weird to see my ex-schoolmates all er, grown up. Everyone went separate ways, doing their thing. It's very judgmental of me but the top students I thought they were don't write very good English now. Why is that, anyway? It's not like I'm saying I'm better than them. Well, actually I am. At writing anyways.

But it's nice to see they all have a good life.

Makes me think what I've achieved in my life so far. Nothing.

I've been job-hopping. Making enemies. No doubt I'm getting paid more than the average yuppy my age. But I have nothing I'm particularly proud of.

At least they're getting married one-by-one. They've found their equal. Or getting there, at least. But where does that put me? Back where I first started out.

If I was ever given a chance, I would do everything differently. For one, I'd curb the eating compulsion. And actually give a shit about how I look in the public eye. Just aesthetically at least. I'd dump the temper and the macho facade. People think I'm too much of a man. I'd make an effort to please other people more. Right now it's always about me. And I never please anyone at the expanse of my own happiness or comfort. I would have done more with my life. I would have tried harder to keep up. I'd learn a useful skill. Spelling words backwards, perhaps.

I'd make a good copywriter, I swear. And I promise I won't be cryptic. And you won't have to decipher the meaning behind my labyrinth of thoughts.

Them girls have done very well for themselves. Nobody's scrawny and malnourished. Everyone's kept a good size. Got great personalities. Done well for themselves. All of them except several.

One who makes me want to gut her from the bottom up. Vladimir the impaler would be ashamed of himself. I want to slit her throat, sandpaper her face off her head. Ukranians would fear me.

Anyways, as I was saying. I'd do away with the temper. I'd try, at the very least.

But a narcissistic side of me still likes me now.

Scoff.