Fat Arses With Nothing Else To Do

Really? Jalan Kejora? Really?

You freaking tarts. Just because you couldn't find something else better to do after you ingested your heart attack's worth of nasi lemak and downed your neslo ais, doesn't mean you can meddle with the road names as you please.

[ ROAD names in Kuala Lumpur are changed to make life easier for the postman when delivering letters. ]

Seriousfuckingly. Do we seriousfuckingly have a pandemic of lost letters because postmen couldn't find the addresses? How is it easier that all this while they have managed to know road names, only to have you asswipes change them all. If you must revamp something, revamp your faces stupid toads.

[ Amin added that the move was in accordance with the Federal Government’s decision to change all English names to Bahasa Malaysia. ]

What is it that you fuckers have against English anyways? Just because you can't construct English sentences, you want to inconvenience everyone else? I get that BM-patriotic-tanahair shit, but why the trouble?

[ According to Amin, to avoid confusion, the committee’s guidelines include using road names with specific themes such as vegetables, flowers, fruits and famous people and that letters and numbers are not encouraged. ]

Seriously? VEGETABLES?!!!! FLOWERS? FRUITS?!! Did you forget your straight jacket? Not that I can say much, I live on Jalan Pisang - the founder of my area must be a pervert, there's a Lorong Anggur too. So what happens when you run out of fruits? Give the roads the fruits' scientific names? How about Jalan Convolvulaceae for you? Except, since the brilliant guidelines say it must now be in BM, it's Jalan Konvolvulaki.

[ “If one person disagrees to the move to change a particular road name then we will not go through it,’’ Amin said, adding that all 20 members in the committee unanimously agreed to change the name of Jalan Alor to Jalan Kejora. ]

No shock. Seriously, if there was an award show for World's Top 20 Stupidest People. Wah, Malaysia finally gets a Gold anything!!

[ Former City Hall Advisory Board member Datuk Ooi Saw Choo, who sat on DBKL’s Road Naming Committee from 2005 to 2006 said the committee goes through a lengthy process before deciding on road names and said that a process to change a road name can take as long as two months. ]

Wah! Two freaking months! You play susun semula abjad is it? You lazy asshole, go to work at 9, go home at 5. 9 - 10 Make coffee. 10 - 11 Chit-chat. 11 - 12 Start thinking what to eat. 12 - 2 Lunch (Mondays to Thursdays) 12 - 3 (Fridays). After lunch onwards, cigarette and toilet breaks. 4.59 shut down computer. 5 Balik rumah. No wonder you take two months.

And finally, the best joke the world has ever seen.

THE DBKL Road Naming committee rules and guidelines:

English names must be changed to Bahasa Malaysia.

Names must reflect the Malaysian Identity

Road names must follow a theme.

For example, if the neighbourhood or zone is using fruits as their theme, then all roads must carry the names of Malaysian fruits.

To use names of famous people.

Naming roads in accordance with the name of the housing estate. For example in Sri Hartamas, the road names used are Jalan Sri Hartamas 1, Jalan Sri Hartamas 2, etc
>>>IS IT? I THOUGHT USING NUMBERS ARE NOT ENCOURAGED???

Names used should be a source of information or educational. For example, using the names of Malaysian fruits, vegetables and spices.
>>>I HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR EDUCATIONAL - HOW ABOUT JALAN ZAKAR, JALAN UTERUS, JALAN PUNDI KENCING, JALAN GINJAL, JALAN PAYUDARA? IT'S SCIENCE!!!

The use of letters of the alphabet is not encouraged
>>>LETTERS ALPHABET CANNOT BE USED? SO IT'S JALAN _ _ _ _ _ SORRY CANNOT USE ANYTHING THAT'S ON THE KEYBOARD - THEY'RE ALL KNOWN AS 'LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET'. I KNOW, WHY NOT WE MAKE OURSELVES GREEK? THAT WAY, WE CAN USE SQUARES AND TRIANGLES INSTEAD!

To prevent confusion, the use of Lorong is not permitted (existing names with the word Lorong will be left as it is like Lorong Maarof)
>>>HUH? CAN YOU BE CLEARER? CANNOT USE LORONG, BUT FOR LORONG MAAROF, LEAVE IT AS IT IS? WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

To limit the use of words like Medan, Changkat or Persiaaran.

The use of words like Lintasan, Tepian, Simpang, Tinggian, Lingkungan, Selekoh and Perkarangan is not permitted.

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Hahahaha!! OMG I cannot believe I'm Malaysian. I feel so ashamed. People would ask me where I'm from, and not only would I have to describe how Malaysia is north of Singapore, they will also ask me "Oh, Malaysia. Isn't that the country where they renamed a bunch of roads to some Godforsaken Alien Language?"

Hahaha. Addis Ababa, here I come.