Symphony of Snores

Funniest thing happened last night.

Aunt from Sydney came to visit and had a bad back so she couldn't climb up to sleep on the upper bunk. So the other aunt had to sleep with Mom and me.

They snore. And it was like an orchestra. Took turns snoring somemore. Mom snores when she's breathing in, and aunt snores when she's breathing out.

I tickle mom's throat to stop her snoring a little. Like 5 seconds later, aunt snores. So I poked the mattress from the lower deck. And she stops. Then another 5 seconds later, mom picks up where she left off. And it continued like that for at least a good half an hour until I fell asleep.

WTF.

Fat Arses With Nothing Else To Do

Really? Jalan Kejora? Really?

You freaking tarts. Just because you couldn't find something else better to do after you ingested your heart attack's worth of nasi lemak and downed your neslo ais, doesn't mean you can meddle with the road names as you please.

[ ROAD names in Kuala Lumpur are changed to make life easier for the postman when delivering letters. ]

Seriousfuckingly. Do we seriousfuckingly have a pandemic of lost letters because postmen couldn't find the addresses? How is it easier that all this while they have managed to know road names, only to have you asswipes change them all. If you must revamp something, revamp your faces stupid toads.

[ Amin added that the move was in accordance with the Federal Government’s decision to change all English names to Bahasa Malaysia. ]

What is it that you fuckers have against English anyways? Just because you can't construct English sentences, you want to inconvenience everyone else? I get that BM-patriotic-tanahair shit, but why the trouble?

[ According to Amin, to avoid confusion, the committee’s guidelines include using road names with specific themes such as vegetables, flowers, fruits and famous people and that letters and numbers are not encouraged. ]

Seriously? VEGETABLES?!!!! FLOWERS? FRUITS?!! Did you forget your straight jacket? Not that I can say much, I live on Jalan Pisang - the founder of my area must be a pervert, there's a Lorong Anggur too. So what happens when you run out of fruits? Give the roads the fruits' scientific names? How about Jalan Convolvulaceae for you? Except, since the brilliant guidelines say it must now be in BM, it's Jalan Konvolvulaki.

[ “If one person disagrees to the move to change a particular road name then we will not go through it,’’ Amin said, adding that all 20 members in the committee unanimously agreed to change the name of Jalan Alor to Jalan Kejora. ]

No shock. Seriously, if there was an award show for World's Top 20 Stupidest People. Wah, Malaysia finally gets a Gold anything!!

[ Former City Hall Advisory Board member Datuk Ooi Saw Choo, who sat on DBKL’s Road Naming Committee from 2005 to 2006 said the committee goes through a lengthy process before deciding on road names and said that a process to change a road name can take as long as two months. ]

Wah! Two freaking months! You play susun semula abjad is it? You lazy asshole, go to work at 9, go home at 5. 9 - 10 Make coffee. 10 - 11 Chit-chat. 11 - 12 Start thinking what to eat. 12 - 2 Lunch (Mondays to Thursdays) 12 - 3 (Fridays). After lunch onwards, cigarette and toilet breaks. 4.59 shut down computer. 5 Balik rumah. No wonder you take two months.

And finally, the best joke the world has ever seen.

THE DBKL Road Naming committee rules and guidelines:

English names must be changed to Bahasa Malaysia.

Names must reflect the Malaysian Identity

Road names must follow a theme.

For example, if the neighbourhood or zone is using fruits as their theme, then all roads must carry the names of Malaysian fruits.

To use names of famous people.

Naming roads in accordance with the name of the housing estate. For example in Sri Hartamas, the road names used are Jalan Sri Hartamas 1, Jalan Sri Hartamas 2, etc
>>>IS IT? I THOUGHT USING NUMBERS ARE NOT ENCOURAGED???

Names used should be a source of information or educational. For example, using the names of Malaysian fruits, vegetables and spices.
>>>I HAVE A SUGGESTION FOR EDUCATIONAL - HOW ABOUT JALAN ZAKAR, JALAN UTERUS, JALAN PUNDI KENCING, JALAN GINJAL, JALAN PAYUDARA? IT'S SCIENCE!!!

The use of letters of the alphabet is not encouraged
>>>LETTERS ALPHABET CANNOT BE USED? SO IT'S JALAN _ _ _ _ _ SORRY CANNOT USE ANYTHING THAT'S ON THE KEYBOARD - THEY'RE ALL KNOWN AS 'LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET'. I KNOW, WHY NOT WE MAKE OURSELVES GREEK? THAT WAY, WE CAN USE SQUARES AND TRIANGLES INSTEAD!

To prevent confusion, the use of Lorong is not permitted (existing names with the word Lorong will be left as it is like Lorong Maarof)
>>>HUH? CAN YOU BE CLEARER? CANNOT USE LORONG, BUT FOR LORONG MAAROF, LEAVE IT AS IT IS? WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

To limit the use of words like Medan, Changkat or Persiaaran.

The use of words like Lintasan, Tepian, Simpang, Tinggian, Lingkungan, Selekoh and Perkarangan is not permitted.

---

Hahahaha!! OMG I cannot believe I'm Malaysian. I feel so ashamed. People would ask me where I'm from, and not only would I have to describe how Malaysia is north of Singapore, they will also ask me "Oh, Malaysia. Isn't that the country where they renamed a bunch of roads to some Godforsaken Alien Language?"

Hahaha. Addis Ababa, here I come.

Bina Ayat

I suddenly remember high school days when we had 'Bina Ayat' to show we know the meaning of a word.

Some genius wrote her answer:

"Cikgu, apakah makna (insert difficult word here)?" tanya Ali.

And names were so lame. For boys it'd be Ali or Abu, Muthu and Ah Seng. For girls, Siti or Fatimah, Devi and Swee Ling.

By The Way, Happy Birthday Part 2

Happy birthday to me. People I don't know are wishing me Happy Birthday. Tsk tsk. The technology's fault. Suddenly it's like people remember birthdays.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to Chingy, happy birthday to me

: )

Rainbows and Protruding Bones

So the past three weeks or so were pretty much rainbows and chirping birds, except for the minor ranting over work here and there (such insignificance), but now Alex has gone. To slave himself for SIA (and losing the spare tire at OBS). Yes we are apart. But our love is strong, and we will endure this test of faith from God Hmm... wait a minute, I haven't been to church in a long time. I'm sure God's forgotten all about lil' ol' me. And we can't stop think about each other, and this is so cheesy But we're reporting every detail down to the last burp to each other hahaha.

Now it's back to shitty take-outs and skipping dinner. Oh, and work. Work today was a bitch. I despise morons who give revisions at the end of the day when I send them stuff to review in the morning. Everything comes to a crashing halt for ONE job, because of ONE client.

Malaysians - habit of jumping queue. They will never learn, especially the LCs. They will takapalah everything until the very last nanosecond, then drop the veryurgentmyjobisatstake bomb on you.

Here, something gross to entertain yourselves with.

Whatever Screw You

I hate it when people bring their freaking PMS mood swings to work. What's worse is that it's not even work-related PMS. Don't show face if your heart is not here at work. I don't like being ignored, especially when I'm trying to get an important message across. The least this son of a bitch could do was nod. But no. He just walked off. Like he freaking owns the building. Yeah, you know what? I hope you walk directly into a wall. Go bury your face in cement or something. Or get hit by a truck. Or be peeled to death by a mob of carrot peelers.

By The Way, Happy Birthday

Rebecca and I were sharing a piece of Jiunn's birthday cake on her desk. I placed two pieces of paper underneath the polystyrene plate so we wouldn't dirty anything on her desk. The following conversation ensued.

Rebecca: You put recycled paper right? Surely you're not that stupid as to put new paper.

Ching: Do I look like Jiunn?

Muahaha I'm the meanest bitch alive!! :D